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“I can’t right now, I’m too busy.” “I’ve been so busy lately.” “What a busy day I’ve had.” These are the types of comments you hear and may even say every day. It seems that everyone in our culture is too busy, packing their lives to the brim and wondering why things are not going smoothly. It really isn’t a question of “if” you are too busy because the vast majority of people are. Rather it is a question of “why”. If you want to slow the pace of your life down, challenge yourself today to find out the underlying cause of your busyness. If you can understand why, you can use it as a key to open the door to a more peaceful life. Some common underlying reasons for being too busy are listed below.
1) You’re too busy because you are avoiding something. Some people pack their schedules to the point of overflow because a full calendar acts as an insulator from that which they fear they can’t handle. These parents might sign their children up for every after school activity imaginable because it reduces the amount of time spent at home during which they would have to provide discipline and structure to their child’s day – something they may not feel equipped to do. Often, these parents have their own personal issues that drain them of the emotional resources necessary to effectively parent their children in typical day-to-day dealings.
2) You’re too busy because chaos is comfortable. Maybe you were raised in a chaotic home where there was a lot of yelling, disruptions, and disorder. The idea of sitting in the living room after dinner with the kids playing quietly on the floor while you and your spouse visit on the couch is so foreign to you that it seems as if it were out of a fantasy novel (or a 50’s TV show).
3) You’re too busy because everyone around you is and you think that you should be. Maybe you think that your worth and value are associated with how busy and harried your life is. You may measure your importance by how long your to-do list is. This mindset can be common among stay-at-home-moms. Often they feel they need to justify their status as a stay-at-home-mom with a full schedule – otherwise they fear that people would wonder, “What does she do all day anyway?”
4) You’re too busy because you take over roles that are not yours to take. You may have a need to have things done right (or your version of right) and therefore you assume the responsibilities that rightfully belong to other people. By hijacking such duties from other people and having difficulty delegating, you overburden yourself unnecessarily.
5) You’re too busy because you can’t say no. Often these people are the ones who can’t say no to the requests and needs of those around them. But this can also take the form of being unable to say no to self. Those who over-indulge in a vice (computer, T.V, shopping, etc.) find themselves having squandered precious time and scrambling to make it up later. Whatever the cause, these people have a hard time setting limits and as a result are stretched too thin.
Maybe you found yourself described in one of the categories listed above. Or maybe you struggle for reasons that are uniquely your own. Regardless, take some time today to evaluate the nature of the busyness in your life. Then you will be able to successfully unload your burden of busyness.
Thanks for those insights. Children do know when their parents are too busy to listen. The number of times a child says, “Mom! Mom!” to a multi-tasking mother is very telling.
Short of teaching how best to interrupt, an ignoring mom sends a clear message of under- valuing and under-affirming.
Little hearts go away empty with a strong negative message.
Again – thank you for the reminder. It’s very hard to have to “look in the mirror” and see some of the ugly things that we do. My time should be used in a way that honors God and I can see many ways that it is not being used in the best way. Everyone suffers. I am committing to reviewing and revamping how I use my time.
I agree. Our time is so precious – we can throw it away without much of a thought. I need these reminders too.
Blessings,
Laura